The Truth About Growth (That Hardly Anyone Talks About)

To feel or not to feel

Here’s something that often gets missed in conversations about personal or spiritual growth: It doesn’t actually matter what your practice is.

Meditation, yoga, breathwork, therapy, plant medicine, prayer, journalling, knitting, cold plunges, ecstatic dance...They all offer the same essential fork in the road:

👉 Be with your shit

👉 Escape from your shit

👉 Or—let’s be honest—both

That’s it. That’s the secret. That’s the choice you’re making every time you sit down, light a candle, show up to class, or book a session.

The Practice Isn’t the Point

Some people avoid meditation because they’re terrified of what their own mind will say when it’s quiet. Some people love meditation for the exact same reason—because they can float away, dissociate, and bypass everything uncomfortable, all while calling it “presence.” Some engage with psychedelics to go deep, unravel old traumas, face their shadows, and emerge raw but real. Others pretend that’s what they’re doing—but really, they just like getting high in a way that sounds more meaningful than "I got wasted in the bush with my mates."

And therapy? For some, it’s a fierce act of turning toward themselves. For others, it’s a way to talk about change without ever doing it. No judgment—we’ve all done both. The point is: the practice doesn’t make it real. Your intention does.

The Only Person You’re Accountable To Is You

There’s no growth police. No awakened guru will descend from the clouds to say, “Well done, you faced your abandonment wound today instead of scrolling TikTok for 6 hours.”

You are the only one who knows if you’re leaning in or checking out. You’re the only one who knows if you’re sugar-coating your journey, avoiding discomfort, or spiritually cosplaying.

Real Growth Feels Like Work (Sometimes)

If your practice never challenges you...If you always feel serene, floaty, and “above it all”...

If you never want to cry, throw something, shake, rage, or lie down and feel like it’s all too much...

Then chances are, you’re not growing. You’re spiritually self-soothing. And that’s okay—sometimes that’s exactly what’s needed. But if it’s only ever sweet, soft, and pretty, you might be using your practice to hide rather than heal.

So What Should It Feel Like?

Sometimes it’s grounding.

Sometimes it’s devastating.

Sometimes it’s boring as hell.

Sometimes it’s transcendent.

Sometimes it’s embarrassing and humbling.

Sometimes it breaks your heart in exactly the right way.

Whatever your chosen path, make sure it includes a little bit of all of that. Balance is the real teacher.

In a Nutshell...

• It’s not what you do, it’s why and how you do it.

• Every practice offers the same two roads: face your stuff or flee from it.

• Only you know which road you're taking.

• Real growth requires discomfort. It should stretch you, not just soothe you.

• And it’s okay to sometimes just be soothed—but don’t confuse that for transformation.

  
  

Need a Witness?

If you’re on a path and not sure which road you’re taking, I’m here for that. No judgment. No performance. Just honest conversations, practical tools, and grounded support for wherever you’re at—spiritual ego, shadow meltdown, or both.

Let’s walk it together.