**“Enlightenment? Never Heard of Her.”

watersmeet6
Jun 2
4 min read

How to Befriend Your Spiritual Ego Without Becoming That Guy**

I love my spiritual ego. Honestly. It thinks it’s funny AF, loves thinking it knows everything, and is always ready to drop an unsolicited insight like a seagull dropping chips in your lap. It mistakes the forest for the trees. The trees for the forest. Then writes a blog about it.

Doesn’t sound ideal, does it?

But here’s the thing: the poor misunderstood part cops the brunt of every spiritual meme. It’s side-eyed by other spiritual egos pretending their ego isn’t as extra as yours. It’s responsible for more eye-rolls than an apple bobbing competition and has been the secret ghostwriter for every post in that Facebook group you rage-quit.

It’s the false guru’s best mate.It’s the reason JP Sears has a career in sarcasm. And it’s part of every single seeker.

You can’t sage it away. You can’t shame it into submission. You can’t cleanse it out with 37 toad ceremonies.Sorry, friend. It’s here to stay.

☕ The Real Talk

Yes, it can be a pain in the third eye.No, we don’t want people running around declaring themselves the Second Coming of Christ because they saw a mandala during breathwork.But here’s the nuance: the answer isn’t spiritual egoicide. It’s relationship.

I’m big on integration. Not exorcism.That includes your spiritual ego. Especially your spiritual ego.

🪞Before We Go Any Further…

You might want to check in with the part of you that just judged someone else's spiritual ego. Got a little zing of superiority?Thought something like, “Oh god, they’re so ungrounded.”Yeah, that part.

That’s ego too. Parts judging parts.No one’s off the hook. Welcome to the dojo.

🧞‍♀️ How the Spiritual Ego Shows Up (A Few Red Flags with Glitter on Top):

Spiritual Bypassing
Using "high vibe" language or practices to avoid grief, trauma, or discomfort.
→ “Everything happens for a reason” becomes a way to avoid feeling sadness or responsibility.
Hierarchy Games
Feeling above others because of your path (“I’ve done ayahuasca 14 times” / “I only channel 9D beings”).
→ Remember: humility is the highest vibration.
Over-identification with Identity
Becoming “the healer,” “the empath,” “the priestess,” etc. and clinging to it like armour.
→ Roles are costumes, not who we are.
Preaching Instead of Being
Sharing spiritual quotes and advice while skipping your own integration work.
→ It’s not how much you know, it’s how much you embody.
Self-Rejection Masquerading as Detachment
“I’m beyond desire / sexuality / anger” — no, you just sent your inner teenager into exile.
→ True awakening includes your humanness, not the erasure of it.
Using Light to Avoid Shadow
Always positive, always light, always “love and light.”
→ Without darkness, the light has no contrast. Integration > suppression.
Thinking You’re Done
The second you think you’ve “arrived,” the ego is at the wheel again.
→ Keep bowing. Keep learning. Always a student.
Thinking You Know
Stumbling upon a bunch of new insights can make the ego feel like quite the wise owl, but in reality it’s no different to a know-it-all teen.
→ True wisdom is realising that the more you know, the more you have absolutely no idea because a) knowledge is infinite and b) accumulating spiritual knowledge has no value.
Siddhi Show-Off
Being psychic, seeing dead people and channeling kundalini energy don’t make you more amazing.
→ Know that these things are also normal parts of being human, perhaps just lost skills. Most people on a spiritual path have them.
It’s not C for Calm
Remember those C words that weren’t the rude ones?
→ The spiritual ego isn’t Calm. It’s quite excitable.

😬 My Own Spiritual Ego Exposé

One day I realised that my ‘spiritual perfectionist’ thought if I got spiritual enough that maybe – maybe my father would actually respect me.

Gah! Wrong, no. Just no! My daddy issues were not going to be fixed here.

Hey, I’m not beating myself up, it was a kinda useful driver to do hard-cor navel contemplating. Many of us choose this path because we feel broken and this was a very broken part. The final fixing of this issue was actually in this little ah ha moment of that realisation, followed by - Doh!

What is your spiritual driver needing to heal?

🍵 Zen Has Entered the Chat

Let’s be real: the truly Self-led / Zen part of me has zero interest in writing blogs, updating websites, or telling people to do breathwork. That part’s happy sipping tea, staring out the window, being no one.

So who’s doing all this spiritual work? Yep. My spiritual ego. It’s a useful part of the team. A motivator, not a monster.

🧘‍♀️ Working With Your Spiritual Ego (Not Against It)

1. Appreciate It

It’s been holding it all together while you’ve been trying to be the sacred llama whisperer. “Thank you. I see how hard you’ve worked.”

2. Include It in the Circle, Not on the Throne

Let it share. Let it shine. Just don’t hand it the microphone full-time. Invite humility, play, and imperfection to co-lead.

3. Choose Real Over Polished

People don’t want a perfect guru. If you’re a teacher/healer/space-holder they want someone safe enough to be real. Your most healing moments will come from “I don’t know.” “I stuffed that up.” “I’m still learning too.”

This is the razor’s edge of integrity.

🎭 The Teenage Years of Awakening

Your spiritual ego isn’t the villain. It’s just the teenager of your awakening — a little fabulous, a little cringey, still figuring out where to sit at the dinner table.

And like any teenager?

It doesn’t need punishment. It needs parenting — with love, laughter, and wise boundaries.

🐍 One Final Word (and Warning)

The spiritual ego is like trying to catch an eel in a vat of warm coconut oil. Slippery. Sneaky. Wearing mala beads.

It hides in all your noblest acts — your veganism, your “service,” your retreats, even your obsessive shadow work. But sometimes, it’s just a scared little part dressed up in white linen trying to feel worthy.

Know it. Name it. Love it. Don’t let it run the show.

And please, for the love of Kali — keep meditating.